The Lists of Randomness
by Melody H. Grace
Summary: I was reading a bunch of list-type fanfic's and decided to bring a new one for Gakuen Alice into the world. Rated T, because it is just an awesome letter.
1. Annoy Natsume

**Hi! Now some of you (or at least one of you) must be thinking:**

"**Why is she writing lists?!?! She promised for a sequel!!!!"**

**Well, for one thing, I never promised a sequel of "Follies of a Faulty Christmas" (now that I think about it, I think that that name was a little too long…). Also, I tried to think for an idea for another one-shot, and this came up instead. Don't be mad! On the plus side, this will be more than one chapter (probably…hopefully…). And for those who searched for my Harry Potter FanFic mentioned in "Follies" and failed, I kind of took it down (I was out of ideas for it. And, it was kind of a boring plot anyway). Anyway, ON WITH THE LISTS!**

**Dedicated to my dear friends at school, who are still beyond annoyed at me for bringing up Gakuen Alice every other minute.**

Disclaimer: Okay, what are the chances that I'm Tachibana Higuchi? I'll tell you: absolutely zero (but thanks for the compliment!). 

* * *

**The Lists of Randomness**

List One: Ways To Annoy Natsume Hyuga.

(Warning! Use of these may result in Third-Degree Burns or Death)

1. Call him "Flame-boy".

2. Say "I can't believe that you risk your life on a weekly basis to save our school when you can barely survive a pheromone attack from Mr. Narumi."

3. Dress up as an AAO agent for Halloween.

4. Call him "Wimp".

5. Say "Mikan Hyuga" a million times right in his ear (this is also effective on Mikan Sakura).

6. Hand out "I Heart Natsume" buttons/t-shirts in class.

7. Convince Mikan to buy one of said buttons/t-shirts.

8. Paste pictures of Sumire Shoda on every page of his manga.

9. Use the baka gun on him.

10. Talk Luca Nogi into recounting all of Natsume's embarrassing moments.

11. Take pictures of him smiling.

12. Try to get him to smile in general.

13. Say "_Language_, Mr. Hyuga!" whenever he swears.

14. Dress up like Aoi for Halloween.

15. Dress up like Mikan for Halloween.

16. Dress up like Natsume for Halloween.

17. Dress up like Mr. Narumi for Halloween, convince a friend to dress up like Natsume at the same time, and reenact all of the times that Mr. Narumi used his Alice on him (to get him extra mad, include an extremely low voice for Mr. Narumi, and a high, squeaky voice for Natsume.)

18. Dress up like Persona for Halloween.

19. Publish a book titled "10 Fail-Proof Ways To Make Natsume Hyuga Yours" and sell it to all of the girls in class.

20. Ask a Weather Alice to make a rain cloud over Natsume's head, and make it follow him for three hours.

21. Sneak into his room in the middle of the night, have an Appearance-Changing Alice change his eyes to green, draw a black lightning bolt on his forehead, draw a pair of glasses around his eyes, and superglue a broomstick to his hand. Call him Harry Potter in class the next day.

22. Steal his manga and scream "Run, Loser! Run!"

23. Have Mikan Nullify his Alice for a day.

24. Sneak into his room in the middle of the night, shave all of his hair off, and draw a blue arrow on his forehead. Call him Aang in class the next day.

25. Mutter "someone's in a mood" loudly if, and when, he uses his Alice, or snaps at someone.

26. Clean up his room **(I'm going to guess that it's pretty messy, 'cause he and Mikan are opposites and Mikan's room is spotless.)**

27. Make an obviously fake drum roll when he enters a room.

28. Make a real drum roll when he enters a room.

29. Replace his masculine-y Nullifying earrings with Nullifying earrings that are in the shape of butterflies, rainbows, or ladybugs.

30. Hack into the Alice Academy computer base and make him a no-star. Point and laugh at his measly daily meal.

31. Call him an idiot.

32. Get Luna Koizumi to steal Luca's soul, and have her command him to shout "I LOVE NATSUME" for two hours.

33. Get Hotaru Imai to make a robot of Natsume that starts singing "Ode to Joy" every ten minutes (Note: you will have to pay her about 1,000 rabbits later).

34. Get Yome Kokoro to read Natsume's mind for a whole day. But not for the whole day: make sure that every half-hour or so Yome says that Natsume thinks that Mikan's cute, or something like that.

35. Scratch the part about reading normal parts of the day. Make Yome pretend that Natsume thinks about Mikan 24/7 (this, also, is effective against Mikan).

36. Show him this list and ask him if he has other ideas.

37. Show him this list and ask him what he'd recommend.

38. Fake a list of "50 Reasons Why I Love Mikan Sakura" that was written by Natsume.

39. Write "Dear Mikan, I Love You, Love Natsume" on a kite and fly it one windy afternoon.

40. Sneak into his room in the middle of the night and paint his face with bright paint and glitter. Call him "Sparkle Man" in class the next day.

41. Create a poster saying "WE LOVE NATSUME!" and get everyone to parade around you, including Luca. Make it inflammable.

And my favorite way to annoy him, and my lucky number…

42. Make everybody think that it's "Dress Up Like Natsume" day. Make sparkly flames on the face mandatory. Follow him around for hours.

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**So, funny? I don't know what I'll do for the next list yet, so review me ideas. You don't know how good it makes me feel to find out that you care about me. **

**Farewell, my lovely readers!**

**Melody H. Grace**


	2. Blackmail Photos

**Hi, Everybody! Now, all of you must be very happy that I finally came up with an idea to start on. There also a couple of people thinking that they saw something similar to this theme in the form of a guide. Such a FanFic exists, though the author of it gave me permission to use it. **

**So this chapter is dedicated to the fabulous Shinigami Angel 13. **

**ON WITH THE LISTS!**

Disclaimer: Okay, what are the chances that I'm Tachibana Higuchi? I'll tell you: absolutely zero (but thanks for the compliment!). 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;

**We also have a surprise visitor here! Give it up for Hotaru Imai! (Hotaru: "Thank you, thank you, you're too kind," turns to me "For having your audience hurt my ears, you owe me 10 rabbits," I take out a 10 rabbit coin. She grabs it hungrily.)**

**The Lists of Randomness**

List Two: Hotaru Imai's Favorite Blackmail Pictures

(Warning! I wouldn't talk about these to other people…especially if said people can control wild beasts, such as lions…and tigers…and bears…OH MY!)

Key: _Name of the person blackmailed_-action that will make them bend to Hotaru's will

1. _Luca Nogi_-hugging the Giant Piyo

2. _Mikan Sakura_-levitated in the air, arms and legs flailing, a (ugly) look of anger/embarrassment on her face

3. _Luca Nogi_-in a girl's uniform

4. _Narumi-sensei_-in a bright blue wig, and a frilly pink dress.

5. _Luca Nogi_-declaring a proclamation of love to Natsume, a black bite mark on his neck (courtesy of Luna Koizumi) **(this will be ten times funnier if you saw List One)**

6. _Sumire Shoda_-in a bowing position in front of a giant Natsume poster

7. _Luca Nogi_-with fake bunny ears

8. _Wakako Usami_-kissing a giant Natsume poster.

9. _Luca Nogi_-with REAL bunny ears

10. _Tsubasa Andō/Natsume Hyuga_-Natsume hugging Tsubasa around the middle, the latter looking like he is in extreme pain **(this will only be funny if you read the Valentine's Day Chapter…nope, still funny)**

11. _Luca Nogi_-looking extremely confused, with about twenty Misaki-sempai's closing in on him, all with big smiles on their **(her, their…She's a Doppelganger Alice, give me a break!) **faces.

12. _Megane Whose-Last-Name-Escapes-Me _**(What? I never found out his last name…)**-fawning over Misaki (-sempai, not –sensei)

13. _Luca Nogi/Mikan Sakura_-Luca is holding out a white Alice Stone to Mikan, who is looking a little freaked out/confused.

14. _Misaki Harada (sempai)/Tsubasa Andō_-dancing with each other, Misaki's head on Tsubasa's shoulder, Tsubasa blushing furiously

15. _Luca Nogi_-playing with Bunny-Boo in class

16. _Luca Nogi/Mikan Sakura_-Luca kissing Mikan on the cheek.

17. _Natsume Hyuga_-sleeping under the Sakura tree

18. _Luca Nogi/Hotaru Imai_ **(I know, she's blackmailing herself, weird…Hotaru: "Win some, lose some")**-holding hands

19. _Natsume Hyuga/Mikan Sakura_-kissing in the tree**... (Chapter 50 is my favorite!)**

20._ Luna Koizumi_-about to bite some poor little kid, an sly look on her face

21. _Youchi Hijiri/Mr. Bear_-Youchi hugging Mr. Bear, the latter kicking the prior in the stomach

22. _Misaki-sensei_-looking very ugly, and yelling ("NARU! DID YOU STEAL MY WHIPLASH BEAN!?!?!?!?!?!")

23. _Subaru Imai_-crying, looking at a photo of his parents and baby Hotaru, a picture from after he left for the Academy.

24. _Luca Nogi_- singing with his animal friends in the musical.

25. _Luca Nogi/Mikan Sakura/Natsume Hyuga_-Luca and Mikan about to kiss, both blushing furiously, while Natsume is aiming a blackboard eraser at Mikan's head (this is during the Alice Festival show)

26. _Yuri Miyazono_-dressed in a boys uniform during the Alice Festival Last dance, appearing to be talking ("Why am I dressed as a boy again?")

27. _Mr. Bear_-leaving flowers on Kaname Sonō's windowsill **(you are not a true fan if you don't know who Kaname is. Hint: he's the only other person besides Tsubasa that can control Mr. Bear.)**

28. _Luca Nogi_-mouth covered in chocolate, staring right at the camera, with a freaked out look on his face.

29. _Luca Nogi_-mouth covered in chocolate, facing the camera, appearing to be yelling ("IMAI!")

30. _Luca Nogi_-wearing a Snow White dress, appearing to be yelling ("IMAI!")

31. _Luca Nogi_- chasing after a flying robot, which is carrying a giant picture of Luca and the Giant Piyo playing, Luca appears to be yelling ("IMAI!")

32. _Jin Jin_-freaking out, lighting zapping around him, facing a painting of a severed hand.

33. _Luca Nogi_-facing the camera, appears to be talking to the camera (actually, trying to reason with Hotaru "Imai, give it a rest. This is starting to get old" **(how much do you want to bet that she is not going to stop)**)

And a little bonus:

34. _Luca Nogi_-dancing with Bunny-Boo while wearing a-

**(cue angry Gakuen Alice characters, Luca as the leader, who grab Hotaru and I and tie us up. Luca steals the laptop and types: ) **

List Two and a Half: Luca Nogi's favorite blackmail photo:

(Warning! Please don't show this to a certain inventor…)

1. _Hotaru Imai_-snoozing, head in someone's lap **(Luca's, I think. How should I know? I'm tied up and two yards away from **_**my**_** laptop, while a person holding a bunny is typing on it. Mikan: "aw, how sweet!" Everybody else: "Serves her right! Go Bunny Boy!" Hotaru (to herself): "Let's see, he owes me 10 rabbits for stealing my camera, 50 for using it against me…" Me: "Nogi! I'm allergic to rabbit hair!" Luca: "You should have thought of that before you made Imai come here to embarrass me in front of the Gakuen Alice fans!")**

**(The Gakuen Alice characters untie Hotaru and me after a few minutes. Hotaru and I start chasing Luca. Hotaru: "NOGI! YOU OWE ME 256 RABBITS FOR THAT PHOTO OF ME!" Me: "NOGI! YOU'RE PAYING FOR MY MEDICAL BILLS!")**

;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;

**Did you see the trend? Yeah, I see how people want Luca and Hotaru to go together. I don't, however, see how Mikan and Natsume should be together. PREZ DESERVES HER! DON'T JUST STAND THERE, TOBITA! SHOW HER HOW YOU FEEL!**

…**Sorry for that little spastic moment (All Characters: "**_**LITTLE**_**? THAT WAS **_**LITTLE**_**?!" Prez: "Thank you, Melody-chan,"). But don't you think that Mikan deserves someone a little **_**nicer**_**? I know about "tough love", but seriously, there is an extent to which that can be taken **

**(All Gakuen Alice characters exit). **

**So, I am, again, out of ideas, so could you please review me your ideas, so that I can steal them. Now before you say "SHE'S GONNA STEAL? SHE'S SO MEAN!" I'd like to say that I have a new policy: any ideas that I take from someone else, the chapter that's based on it will be dedicated to them. Also, tell me if you like this list too. It makes you feel so happy inside (and it's sweet, light, and fluffy, like a marshmallow… wait, I'm thinking of Howalon. Oops. Well, reviews make me feel good too.)**

**Sincerely,**

**Melody H. Grace**

**P.S. Nogi is dead meat. I'm still itchy from the rabbit hair and it's been TWO WEEKS! (I scratch my arm a couple of times). It's really annoying. And he paid Hotaru 300 rabbits to stop her from chasing him, and paid another 500 to get her to hold me back so that he could escape. Money-loving traitor (Hotaru: "I heard that!" fires Baka gun at me). **


End file.
